I couldn't have written it better if I'd written it myself...

Which wouldn't have been better, even if I'd written it.

"Phone sex is the dumbest thing in the world. It's not sex. It's like calling a restaurant and asking them to describe their food. That’s not the same thing as eating. No guy wants to sit on the phone for 2 hours and talk dirty to a girl. We don’t like talking to girls on the phone to begin with. That shit is boring. I hate to be the one to break this to you ladies, but if your boyfriend spends two hours on the phone with you describing an evening of erotic delights, your boyfriend is unquestionably queer."